Genus Lancerus Parkus Gopherus
Alpha & Beta Familius
The creatures pictured above, commonly known as "gophers," are actually cute, warm and fuzzy little creatures, Genus Lancerus Parkus Gopherus Alpha Familius. While few or none are located in our residential areas, the Lancer Park recreational area is a haven for them. In general, humans have learned to dislike them for two reasons, one cultural, and one rootological: First, gophers as individuals and as families are quite shy and seldom as co-dependent and friendly as dogs and cats, and Second, they normally prefer to make their homes in extensive and intricate passageways tunneled beneath lawns and gardens, where they chew on and destroy the roots of colorful flowers, ornamental shrubs and nutritious vegetables. For these reasons, wherever people live, gophers have been ostracized and major "rodent cleansing efforts" or "pogroms" have been undertaken against them. Despite this, gophers are among the most resilient and cheerful species of animals on earth. It has been estimated by experts that there is one gopher for every dandelion in the world, and that this phenomenon is not accidental in nature.
These gophers, Genus Lancerus Parkus Gopherus Beta Familius, are very similar in appearance to the gophers in the illustration above, but they are actually part of a completely different family, with different cultural, social and economic interests. The existence of the two separate families in Lancer Park attracts gopherologists from all over the world. DNA studies have confirmed the socioeconomic studies of differences first noticed by famed naturalist, Junipero Cavus Rhodes. This interesting phenomenon has been featured in Nature, Smithsonian Magazine, Wired, and Gopher Preservationist. As interesting as the two gopher families are, they are not a protected or endangered species. Therefore the experts have also studied the efforts of people to eradicate or relocate them.
Interesting Gopher Links
Copyright © 2009 by Larry Christensen
Last Update: January 1, 2009
Questions? You can always ask.
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